Thursday, October 15, 2009

Still Alive

So, I went to the doctor today, it turns out it's just a chest infection, not the aforementioned swine flu. How that happened baffles me. For all the "Wash your hands every hour on the hour" mentality, living under the same roof as someone who has it, and spending two days at a camp where a good friend of mine had it baffles me. It's like the entire firing squad missing you or something. I just don't know. Maybe I already had after 10-12s. I had been informed that I didn't, but who knows, that'd be the only explanation that I could think of. Still feel quite bleh though. My entire body seems to have rallied against me, turning me into some sort of ghoulish figure. I am a noxious vestibule of grease and coughing, at time caught in that most trying of decisions. Do I need to excrete or vomit? That one's always a toughie. Nobody wants to be caught relieving themselves and then discover all too late they've made the wrong choice and get sick all over the floor. TMI turkey? Perhaps. I'm on antibiotics. I can't remember if I posted this on my blog or just twitter, but antibiotic means "Against life". How evil-sounding is that? Yet we'd be in a very sad state of disarray without them, despite that they sound like a robotic nano-race hellbent on humanity's extinction.

I just watched TV today. I've noticed a sliding gradient of talk-TV shows. At the bottom, is Jerry Springer. You know, somebody's ho's been cheatin' on him, and dayyyumed if there ain't gonna be some big brawl in which half the noise is beeping and half the screen is full of securtiy.

Next on the list is Maury. At first, I fell for it's guise as a serious talk-TV show. But no. It is not. It is just Jerry Springer dressed up as intelligent. They still have secret paternity tests in which the drama is played out for maximum effect while we, the romans, get to chant and cheer while the proverbial lions of strife draw in for the kill. I actually turned it off at one point, I think there's a limit to how much of someone's personal life should be broadcast on international television. The subject was quite good though, I had quite an admiration for the guy in question. The man had decided that regardless of the results of the paternity test, he would stay with his significant other and her child. What I saw as impressive though was that she was only his fiancee. I mean really, he would be within rights to just up and leave, but he didn't. I admire that kind of commitment. When the woman found out, she ran off the stage, while the man reaffirmed his decision. As he held her in his arms offstage and told her how much he loved her, I couldn't help but realise that there was a camera crew surrounding them. It's kinda like: "Dude, give them a little bit of space?" Cripes. I can see why people freak out at the paparazzi like they do, I think having your worst moments filmed for people's interest is kinda messed up, needless to say enraging. I just switched the channel, with the slightest waft of shame for having watched Maury.

And then, at the top, is Doctor Phil. He's a classy guy, like a big loveable Texas teddy bear. Not to mention he reminds me of Nexus, who has earned the nickname "Dr. Phil" for his compassionate and caring nature. And that he likes to help people. I couldn't think of a decent adjective for that. At any rate, the topic of the day was commitment. And commitment-phobes. Interesting subject, not limited to just men, from the looks of it. It's a tricky fear, really. I think I'm a little young to be properly affected by it, or at least deal with it. But then, I could be wrong. I suppose the only fear I'd have is that if I got married it'd be to the wrong person and it'd all just fall apart or something. But luckily, I've got the redemptive love of Jesus in my life to give me a bit of a wake-up call and say: "Hey, I'd be there to help both of you work through any problems." I think when God left infidelity as the only excuse to get a divorce (And not even that, really, if you take what Jesus' said.) that that says a lot about marriage. That if God is present, two people can work through any problem together. Maybe I'm just showing some sort of naivete with that kind of talk, perhaps it's the truth, but in either case, I think he meant what he said, and that two people that had become joined wouldn't have to be caged to unhappiness for the rest of their lives. That fresh starts could be made, and love long dead could be resurrected. I think so, anyway. Is his arm too short?

And on to my last topic, of why God's way is the best way. On two counts. I think it's vital to marry someone that's a christian as well, otherwise I don't think one could expect God to work through them and with them if they'd really rather he didn't, or didn't believe at all. And another recurring theme in these stories was pre-marital sex. Which meant that the people had kids. And that, my friends, is trouble. Hahaha! Not kids, not kids! That came out wrong. But making difficult decisions about your relationship are made a lot more complicated when your decisions can deeply affect your offspring. On the one hand, having kids can keep you in the relationship, which can be good and bad, I suppose. You'll work at happiness a lot harder if it's the only option.

On the other hand, if you leave, you've just done a lot of damage to your kids, like it or not.

The last thing, I guess, is sex. Apparently the number one reason (or so says doctor Phil's cited research at least) that guys don't commit is because they can get sex regardless. Which isn't a very noble thought, in either case. I don't think you should marry just to get some nookie cookies. If that's your goal, you gotta re-evaluate some things. But I think your decisions will be a lot clearer and more objective if you're not up to your eyeballs in funky hormones. That, and the previously mentioned kids. I don't think any of those couples decided: "Well, I'm not ready to marry you, but what the hey, lets have some kids!". Birth controll is effective, but you can always get a Juno on your hands. I think abstinence just keeps things simple. But also probably a little dorky. But that's a small price to pay to avoid gettin' punched-up by yo' ho' on Jerry Springer and getting a headache from all the bleeping.

Maybe I just like saying "ho".

"Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'." -Michael: The Office (US)