Song

"I hope to be there by the morning
and see this pining all transforming
into the arms of the Georgia sun
Savannah
I'd love to feel the heat the sunrise
Brushing rays across my windshield as if one dries
the streams from off my face

Yet I know you'll be there cause you'll know I'll want you to be there
And we'll say hello as you're smiling in love
And we'll sigh so relieved I believe because we will both know by
tonight we'll feel normal again
But until then
Until Then
Until then

Savannah
Our backs supported by a hammock
we sum up perfection like a handbook
and God knows it all too well
Savannah
We'll take a walk to find a gift shop
Who would've thought the book that you bought
would never come off the shelf

Baby
I spent my life wondering
Wondering when I'd find you
I searched for all these years and now you're right here
I need you to know that
Everything makes sense when you're with me

Savannah
Walk out into the sultry evening
Cotton breathing when the sea winds
brush the hair down around your neck
Savannah
You hold my hand like it's the first time
and all the feelings that our hearts find
will be just what we expect"

So Relient k released their new album "Forget and Not Slow Down". It is seriously one of my favorite albums of all time. I love the above song, and "Sahara" as well. I have been studying, but not as much as I should be, but still more than I'm entirely comfy with. 6th year is a busy year, which is why I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like. Not that it tires me, it just takes effort, I guess. But I enjoy it.

Up until five minutes ago, I thought that spinach tasted like soggy grass and believed deep down that the people who liked it were secretly part cow. Now I think I might like it.

When I read King Lear, I find I relate to Lear more than I am entirely comfortable with. We are reading it quite a lot. I think it's my favorite play. I hope I don't get totally screwed over by my daughters due to their evil (or my jerkishness?) someday.

I finished reading "We need to talk about Kevin".

I am all sorts of out of sorts, or am I?

I am on my way to a higher options conference in dark of night with google maps and my bike (yet to be named) as my only companion. Wish me luck!

I am doing ok.

People were pretty miffed last night about the whole hand ball thing. Which is quite understandable. That ref is kinda suspiciously obstinate.

You are reading this (I can't see a way that sentence could be false! Unless someone was reading it to you, but I have no idea if that would still count as reading my blog).

This baaarely counts as a blog post. :P

"i am too panadol stoned for this conversation."- Laura F. -facebook comment.

What are you folk up to? Murder? Arson? Wedding plans?

On shell shock.

So! I am all better now. I had missed about a week and a half of school due to bronchitis, and I eventually became well enough to get through the 1 2/2 days of school. (wednesday was a half day and so was friday). Dearest Nicoley even came to visit me while I was ill. Aww! She's a super lady, and I really needed the company! I realised upon her visit that she was the first human being I wasn't directly related to that I had had a conversation with in a week. Jeez, I was losing touch! Isolation is never a good thing. But, I learned quite a bit from my time alone, and God showed a lot of strength through me without anyone to look over my shoulder. Seriously though, people. Matthew 25:36 was not kidding, people need visiting. I can only hope that I have learned from this experience and will be more generous with my time toward those who need company. I had in part, forgotten how to have chats with people. But, I had the weekend to look forward to. There was paintballing. There was bruising. There was fun times for everyone. This post is now like, one week old. I can't even remember what the rest of it was supposed to be about! Probably paintballing and friends. C'est la vie!

Also,

When Harry met Sally may now just be my favorite romance movie of all time. Just sayin'.

Calm before the _____

So, school tomorrow. I still feel like something the cat dragged in, despite four days of potent antibiotics and 7 days of near-total rest. I dannevenknow. I feel like I have a temperature of some description, but for whatever reason our house is devoid of working thermometers. We've got some mercury ones on the way from the post because you can't buy them over here, and blah blah blah. I feel pretty lousy. I really don't want to head into school tomorrow, but can I afford to miss any more school? Then again, this is a chest infection, by the ominous name of "Bronchitis". That name always made me think of dinosaurs, like the Brontosaurus. So if I push myself, I'm just going to get worse, and I don't wanna do that. Flippin' antibiotics should have this thing sorted by now, or at least so I'd hoped. In all likelihood, I won't be going to school tomorrow. When it comes right down to it, I know if I really do feel like crap, there's no way I'll be bothered to do the bike into school. No maths, anyway, and I'd be missing a third of the day due to games and irish. Still. I am going a little mad for boredom and isolation. What I would not give to see another human friend that wasn't immediately related to me. Whinging helps though. A little. :)

Watched some more Doctor Phil, and I noticed something! He has a facial tic. He closes his eyes from time to time with a noticeable force (Just in case any of you were thinking "That's blinking, Lorcan.), but what I like about that is that it doesn't make a difference. He never even brings it up, because it genuinely isn't important. One of the youth leaders at my youth group talks to kids at various schools about Jesus, but he has a stutter. I think that's really, really awesome. It's like, there's this thing that you'd think would hold you back, but once you actually look at it, there's no reason for it to, so they just went with it anyway.

I'm probably not being too coherent, I blame it on the illness. Bored out of my skull. I downloaded an emulator for a game I had when I was a kid. I'm uncertain whether or not this makes me a hypocrite. I mean, more than one usually would be. I'm anti-piracy, but then, I've always tended to follow my own ideas of what is fair rather than what the law would specifically state is acceptable. Then again, I have no idea about the law. I wish you could just google these things. You probably can, maybe I just haven't looked hard enough. At any rate, I owned the game as a child, we lost it, I can play it now, they've stopped selling it long ago, I don't see that as unfair. But call me out on it if you will. I beat it, anyway. It's called "Survival kids", and you play as a 10 year old boy or girl, shipwrecked on a desert island, with the goal to survive and eventually get off the island. This game has always tickled my fancy for various reasons. I mean, what 10 year old boy wouldn't dream of such an awesome scenario? Obviously without the whole fear of death and loneliness and stuff. Because you're ten. It's a good, fun game.

The idea of survival has always been a kinda fun scenario for me, I quite like the idea of self-sufficiency. Which can play to my pride when I mistakenly try to live without others' help. Which is silly and all.

"When I realize it
I’ve been playing through the same place
And I died at the same location after that
Never giving up, challenge against the disappearing stepping tiles
But soon only to fall off from it
If only I have the tools No.2
It’ll be easier to reach the other side but
No matter how many times, no matter how many times
I can’t defeat Airman
No matter how many times, I couldn’t dodge the tornado
Despite jumped behind and fire repeatedly
I got blown off eventually
I even tried rapid time firing
But it’s meaningless when I pit it against the tornado
So in order to win the next round
I can only reserve the E tank to the very last moment

When I realize it
I only left a little bit of life
And I use the E tank at the similar place
Never giving up
Not easy reaching Airman’s place
But I don’t have anymore credit
If only I have the leaf shield
It’d be easier to defeat Airman but
No matter how many times, no matter how many times
I can’t defeat Woodman
Falling leaves
No matter how many times, I can’t dodge it
No matter keeping distance away and went behind
Eventually the distance will be shortened
I even tried rapid time firing
But it’s meaningless when I pit it against his agility
So in order to win the next round
I can only reserve the E tank to the very last moment

If only I have the tools No.2
It’ll be easier to reach the other side but
No matter how many times, no matter how many times
I can’t defeat Airman
No matter how many times, I couldn’t dodge the tornado
Despite jumped behind and fire repeatedly
I got blown off eventually
I even tried rapid time firing
But it’s meaningless when I pit it against the tornado
So in order to win the next round
I can only reserve the E tank to the very last moment" - Air Man ga Taosenai (Airman will not Die)

Still Alive

So, I went to the doctor today, it turns out it's just a chest infection, not the aforementioned swine flu. How that happened baffles me. For all the "Wash your hands every hour on the hour" mentality, living under the same roof as someone who has it, and spending two days at a camp where a good friend of mine had it baffles me. It's like the entire firing squad missing you or something. I just don't know. Maybe I already had after 10-12s. I had been informed that I didn't, but who knows, that'd be the only explanation that I could think of. Still feel quite bleh though. My entire body seems to have rallied against me, turning me into some sort of ghoulish figure. I am a noxious vestibule of grease and coughing, at time caught in that most trying of decisions. Do I need to excrete or vomit? That one's always a toughie. Nobody wants to be caught relieving themselves and then discover all too late they've made the wrong choice and get sick all over the floor. TMI turkey? Perhaps. I'm on antibiotics. I can't remember if I posted this on my blog or just twitter, but antibiotic means "Against life". How evil-sounding is that? Yet we'd be in a very sad state of disarray without them, despite that they sound like a robotic nano-race hellbent on humanity's extinction.

I just watched TV today. I've noticed a sliding gradient of talk-TV shows. At the bottom, is Jerry Springer. You know, somebody's ho's been cheatin' on him, and dayyyumed if there ain't gonna be some big brawl in which half the noise is beeping and half the screen is full of securtiy.

Next on the list is Maury. At first, I fell for it's guise as a serious talk-TV show. But no. It is not. It is just Jerry Springer dressed up as intelligent. They still have secret paternity tests in which the drama is played out for maximum effect while we, the romans, get to chant and cheer while the proverbial lions of strife draw in for the kill. I actually turned it off at one point, I think there's a limit to how much of someone's personal life should be broadcast on international television. The subject was quite good though, I had quite an admiration for the guy in question. The man had decided that regardless of the results of the paternity test, he would stay with his significant other and her child. What I saw as impressive though was that she was only his fiancee. I mean really, he would be within rights to just up and leave, but he didn't. I admire that kind of commitment. When the woman found out, she ran off the stage, while the man reaffirmed his decision. As he held her in his arms offstage and told her how much he loved her, I couldn't help but realise that there was a camera crew surrounding them. It's kinda like: "Dude, give them a little bit of space?" Cripes. I can see why people freak out at the paparazzi like they do, I think having your worst moments filmed for people's interest is kinda messed up, needless to say enraging. I just switched the channel, with the slightest waft of shame for having watched Maury.

And then, at the top, is Doctor Phil. He's a classy guy, like a big loveable Texas teddy bear. Not to mention he reminds me of Nexus, who has earned the nickname "Dr. Phil" for his compassionate and caring nature. And that he likes to help people. I couldn't think of a decent adjective for that. At any rate, the topic of the day was commitment. And commitment-phobes. Interesting subject, not limited to just men, from the looks of it. It's a tricky fear, really. I think I'm a little young to be properly affected by it, or at least deal with it. But then, I could be wrong. I suppose the only fear I'd have is that if I got married it'd be to the wrong person and it'd all just fall apart or something. But luckily, I've got the redemptive love of Jesus in my life to give me a bit of a wake-up call and say: "Hey, I'd be there to help both of you work through any problems." I think when God left infidelity as the only excuse to get a divorce (And not even that, really, if you take what Jesus' said.) that that says a lot about marriage. That if God is present, two people can work through any problem together. Maybe I'm just showing some sort of naivete with that kind of talk, perhaps it's the truth, but in either case, I think he meant what he said, and that two people that had become joined wouldn't have to be caged to unhappiness for the rest of their lives. That fresh starts could be made, and love long dead could be resurrected. I think so, anyway. Is his arm too short?

And on to my last topic, of why God's way is the best way. On two counts. I think it's vital to marry someone that's a christian as well, otherwise I don't think one could expect God to work through them and with them if they'd really rather he didn't, or didn't believe at all. And another recurring theme in these stories was pre-marital sex. Which meant that the people had kids. And that, my friends, is trouble. Hahaha! Not kids, not kids! That came out wrong. But making difficult decisions about your relationship are made a lot more complicated when your decisions can deeply affect your offspring. On the one hand, having kids can keep you in the relationship, which can be good and bad, I suppose. You'll work at happiness a lot harder if it's the only option.

On the other hand, if you leave, you've just done a lot of damage to your kids, like it or not.

The last thing, I guess, is sex. Apparently the number one reason (or so says doctor Phil's cited research at least) that guys don't commit is because they can get sex regardless. Which isn't a very noble thought, in either case. I don't think you should marry just to get some nookie cookies. If that's your goal, you gotta re-evaluate some things. But I think your decisions will be a lot clearer and more objective if you're not up to your eyeballs in funky hormones. That, and the previously mentioned kids. I don't think any of those couples decided: "Well, I'm not ready to marry you, but what the hey, lets have some kids!". Birth controll is effective, but you can always get a Juno on your hands. I think abstinence just keeps things simple. But also probably a little dorky. But that's a small price to pay to avoid gettin' punched-up by yo' ho' on Jerry Springer and getting a headache from all the bleeping.

Maybe I just like saying "ho".

"Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'." -Michael: The Office (US)

Wait.... *groan*

So, this morning getting out of bed I felt like a brick of fried suffering, I rolled out with a hack and a cough. But after that I felt better. I realised I was probably still sick to some degree, but tuesday is triple maths, and whenever I miss a maths class, I come back to find we've all learned how to fly or something like that, and next week we're all jumping off a cliff to hone our skills. So I elected to head into school anyway. I downed a lemsip, garbed myself in what has been described as my "Bicycle safety ninja" outfit, and was on my way to school. I felt pretty good until I got to the common room, to be honest. Perhaps it was seeing people full of vitality and life that drew my attention to my less than exuberant status ailment. So I figured I'd stick around for the first few classes, then see how I felt. So I then went home after my first class as I felt a headache coming on a like wave from an ocean of bricks. So I spent my second day home sick.

I am loath to fall prey to such fearfulness, but my brother had been feeling rather ill lately as well, and our good Doctor gave, in her professional opinion, a label of swine flu upon my brother. I really, really, really hope it's not swine flu. I'm fine with feeling like burning bacon fat for a few days, but I can't afford to miss a whole week of school! However, the growing ache in my stomach speaks a truth. I realised today that should I feel properly crap-tacular tomorrow, I will likely stay in for the rest of the week. Eugh. That would suck. But, such actions are necessary. I've watched one too many zombie movies to allow myself to become the guy who got bit but kept it to himself right up until the end where he turned and bit the protagonist's girlfriend. No sir. I am highly uncomfortable being by myself in a house for extended days at a time. I am going to have my brother take the modem to school in all likelihood of such an occurance. You do not leave a crack addict unsupervised for days at a time with heaping crack rock lying on the kitchen table, you do not leave Lorcan Murphy unsupervised for days at a time with an internet connection. It is just not done. But we shall burn that bridge as we come to it, in the words of a giant rat in a trenchcoat.

So here's what I've gotten up to today. I've been reading through "Inverloch", a comic by the same lady who does "The Phoenix Reqieum". It's a finished comic, so there shouldn't be the problem as detailed in my last post. I've got a flaming stomach cramp just now though, so I'm gonna cut it short.

This: Is quite pretty and fantasy-RPGish
This guy: Is pretty scary.

Aren't my days productive?

"And Rene Descartes/ was a drunken fart/ I drink therefore I am!" - Bruce's Philosophers Song": Monty Python

Screen-shaking fury!

Ok, so I search "top webcomics" on Google, and found this little webcomic, "The Phoenix Requiem". I went through the first few pages, and realised I had tried to read through it once before, it was familiar! But I realised I had hit new comics after the first chapter. Holy crap you guys, I give this thing a big two thumbs up. Three thumbs up. I actually just grabbed Grant's hand and forced him to make a thumbs up, just so that that statement could be factual. The artwork is UNSPEAKABLE. Really. There are times when I do a double-take, just to see if he has used three-dimensional software, or photoshopped a photograph of a person into the comic. None of these things have occurred. The artist is extremely talented. Each comic is like a beautiful painting, and the characters no less. Each one has a backstory, talents, hopes, and secrets, and it is oh so enjoyable to see them develop and react with each other. So so good! Give it time though folks, like any story worth reading, it takes a little while to get started. Come to think of it, the Bible doesn't. It starts off pretty epic right away. But back to the topic at hand!

It is also long, with 485 comics in the archive. I am ashamed to say that I read through them all in a matter of an hour or two. My shame is because I have not appreciated the art. Really, truly, they are works of beauty. Which is what prompted my fury. If you are into webcomics, like myself, you have all eventually reached my current point. You begin a story, and find you enjoy it. Reading more. You grow an endearment to the characters. Reading more. The plot wraps its arms around you in an inescapable embrace of curiosity, reading more. You find you fall in love just a little bit with the world itself, reading more and more, becoming drunk with the sheer quantity of delicious fiction you are ingesting and then nothing. Stop. Halt. Comics update of mondays and thursdays. click to vote for top webcomic. Here's the forum. "NOOOOOO!!!" was my cry. It is a cruel fate for readers of webcomics, as if your latest novel was dropped off with the sunday paper. A literary booty-call. Just a one-night stand? But I find myself deeply in love with this comic, even if I can only see it unfold twice a week. I eagerly await thursday, my friends. I eagerly await.

New readers, start here!

"We have our own deity in Mishara, Professor. Magic is a myth, not part of our education. I can see the appeal though. It'd make being a doctor much easier." - Anya Katsukova, "The Phoenix Requiem, page 8"