Wednesday, September 23, 2009


So I'm reading over the whole Lisbon treaty thang because I'm 18 now, and that means I can vote. But this treaty troubles me. Mostly because it is huge. It is like instead of asking you what you want for dinner tonight, setting out what you will be having for dinner for the next three years and seeing if you agree or not. It's like: "Oh, well, this means we'll have universal rights. Woo universal rights!" but then there's bits of: "So, workers' wages and immigration will be free reign as we see fit." And then it's not so woo. 

And the explanations. THE EXPLANATIONS. I don't know who wrote these things. I don't know if there is an interesting way to get these things across. But man, they have about two flavours: "No citations whatsoever" Where they basically say "So, this thing is great, because of A, B, and C." But they could be offering me Free ice cream day on Wednesday every week and I wouldn't know if it was really on the treaty or not. This applies for the opposition as well where they say the same thing, only with "lame" instead of "great". The second flavor is effectively, the Lisbon treaty. They like, took out a few sentences here and there, but you are effectively reading a considerably-sized novel about the history of the entire freakin' thing. Yes, I understand it's been around for a while, but at this stage it's just a toddler slamming the square cube into the star-shaped hole in his toy box. And for some reason every human being who explains it is always a 60 year old man with thick-rimmed glasses, grey hair, and a voice that could cure insomnia worldwide.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really make a difference what they say, because either it'll work or it wont. Hitler didn't start his campaign bragging about all the bombs that would be dropped on people's houses, and the Civil rights movement never knew that it would soar to the election of a black president. I see all these signs saying: "Lisbon: FOR JOBS" and then four feet down the road saying: "Lisbon: AGAINST JOBS". I suppose the real question is "Do you trust the EU?" And that is a very tricky question indeed. I think they need to break it up, have us vote on  "Li" "Sb" and "On", so that you don't end up having to simultaneously secure human rights and screw over your foreign policy with your one vote.

What they need is a youtube video made by two amateurs rapping about what Lisbon means in underneath three minutes. At least one of whom must be black as per youtube's unwritten rule for all comedy groups.

"I'm not one to make political statements...........    ........    ........   .....   ." - Jonathan Coulton -The President Song

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