Saturday, September 26, 2009

Opera, we need to talk.

Well opera, it's been a while. We need to talk. I don't think this is really working out. It's the little things, you know? You don't load random pages anymore. You used to, I don't know why you've stopped, but, I can't even browse TVtropes anymore for goodness' sake! I remember back when things were simple. But you've changed. Over the updates, you've kept changing how you look. You never needed to do that, I always thought your layout was beautiful, really. But now you've gone for some big, gaudy, "O" in strawberry red. I wished that this could work, but I think we both just want different things. I've realized that what's special about you isn't exactly you-exclusive. I remember loving your "speed dial" feature, how I could just click, and suddenly go where I needed to, but, Opera, it just isn't the same. I've discovered bookmarks. Histories, even. 

I remember your adblocker. That was really the last gasp of my surfing with you. I really did love it. Just a click or two, and suddenly I didn't need to be distracted by racy images on the Internet. I felt safe. But it's all fallen apart, Opera, it's all fallen apart. You can't stop imvu, you can't even hold back Evony! Evony, Opera, listen to what I'm saying! I'm sorry opera. I've just moved on. There's someone else. She's got a fiery disposition. And I'll be honest, she is a bit of a fox. I'm sorry Opera, but I've got to be honest with you. Firefox means what she says. When she says no to an ad, she means it, it isn't back immediately, and she can even stop any ad like it. For good. She can randomize pages. I don't know why you can't, maybe you've got some issues to work through. True, she doesn't have your speed dial, but that's something I'll have to live with, each browser is different. There's a lot I don't know about her, there's room for growth past where we hit the glass ceiling. Goodbye, Opera. I'm sorry, but I really think this is what is best for both of us. I... I'll see you around. Perhaps there is room for growth in the future, but, right now, this really just isn't... Goodbye.

"A good memory is not so good as a little ink" - Chinese proverb (which I will now quote whenever someone hassles me about writing on my arms :P)


Stillworks said...

There there man, just one question... were you cheating on Opera? And why'd you bring up the bookmarks, you know she's sensitive about that.


Nicoley said...

Told you FF was miles ahead of Opera :P

Phiasmir said...

It's not so much that firefox was miles ahead of opera, it just that opera just stopped being able to function over the updates. I was kinda endeared by her simplicity, but, it just wasn't working! I think not being able to properly surf TV tropes was the final straw.

leakinghyperbol said...

Yknow, I notcied Opera begining to contract leprosy when I started using it in the Ukraine, for some reason it just didnt run half the websites I was used to, it refused to paly Mafia Wars.
I guess each update is makeup used to cover bits of her that fell off.
I still dont see why we all cant go to E explorer, Its like Im her only friend now.

Nexus said...

That's because you are Mike :P

Bernard said...

Go on 'Safari' with me! You shall never return