Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Today was slightly less than awesome.

So, turns out I'm moving down to ordinary level french. This wouldn't be such a big deal, but it's the first time I've been moved down to ordinary in anything. I'm not much of a crier, but for some reason messing up in school always seems to tug at the ol' tear ducts for me, my parents are always quite heavy on how I do at school, so chalk it up to that, I guess! The first thing I was greeted as I entered the classroom was with was someone saying "Retard!" 

Now, this really got my goat. The concept of someone currently at my level calling themselves retarded by proxy wasn't really that much of a bother. Sometimes I just notice these things on how the world works and how stupid and out of place it feels to live on the earth. These concepts that you have to be smart and do well and all sorts of toss to be of worth, the way that people can just be so mean to each other for whatever reason. We do this ourselves, do we not? Every now and again stuff like this comes up and it just doesn't make me feel very good and it all seems like some big reminder that I'm not really at home here, the only thing that really kept me from bursting into tears is knowing that I'm no less loved by God because I didn't do well on a French test. That might sound obvious and it sounds a little silly looking at it, that that wouldn't be obvious, but hey, I forget I guess! Life seems super busy this week, I've got extra-curriculars going on like crazy, I've got after-school stuff on all this week. Sorry if this sounds like complaining, I guess writing this down just seems to help me deal, I guess. Problems don't seem so big when they barely amount to a paragraph, I guess. I got through my piano lesson allright despite having barely practiced at all this week, and I'm confident God'll help me get through the week allright! At least my responsibilites include baking brownies. And if you're getting stressed out about baking, you're probably stressing out over nothing! Unless you're a baker and you're about to lose your job or something! I guess.

Oh yeah, we'll know by tomorrow who the president of the United States of America is! I think that's pretty cool. I'm an Obama man myself, and I think he'll win, but it's not over 'till it's over, as they say!

"Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair." -Langston Hughes' "Mother to Son"

No comments: