This one goes out to differentiation, for making my head explode like never before. I find black holes easier to understand, I kid you not.
I feel like I am going nuts
My brain is being such a klutz
A giant, crowded noisy hall
I drop the ball, begin to fall
Down the stairs of ignorance
Confusion runs amok and hence
I scramble to unify
The thousand voices screaming "Why?"
This rusted pile of machinery
Is beginning to make me quite angry.
Maths (I put the s on without thinking about it, Nicole, rejoice!) Is starting to become difficult to comprehend. It's like this for lots of stuff I'm doing too. C'est la vie, seasons come and go.
Speaking of seasons coming, the trees 'round my house are starting to turn all yellow, but only the insides! The outsides are still recieving sunlight and so maintaining chorophyl or something like that, I guess! At any rate, it's really pretty, like little green tinted fireballs growing all around you.
Today was fun! Though today is now yesterday as this post spans two days. It will soon span 3. I have not had time to blog properly. Freaking A, it's now been a week in stasis. This seems like this week has been universally crap for everyone. It's pretty weird, people completely unrelated to each other are having a lousy week. Bizzare. I'll just spew this blog post now.This last week has been very testing. But on sunday I went to a friend's church, and even though it was just a devotional, the pastor gave a short talk on keeping your eyes on christ throughout your troubles, so that was really inspirational, like there was hope again. Not that there ever wasn't hope, it was just hard to see. At any rate, I've spent the past week playing way, way, WAY too much half-life 2. I beat it on hard mode, so that was pretty awesome, I've always wanted to do that. Perhaps I'll blog about how totally awesome half-life 2 is someday. For now, let it just be said that I love vortigaunts way too much. Their mystery and veiled wisdom is so cool I can barely contain myself. Speaking of video games, I recently got the full version of "Spore", so that was really fun! It's like a mish-mash of some different game styles, with some new ones thrown in, all tweaked. It's a lot of fun, space age sucks you in and demands you waste your time on it. No joke, 10 minutes very quickly turned into 4-5 hours from the pack tactics of creature to the space-faring journeys of a sentient race of all-consuming jerkbags, the veritable hitlers of the animal kingdom.
I got those fillings today, it was all pretty good until they stuck a sharp piece of metal deep inside my mouth to drug me. Seriously though, it wasn't that bad, even when they said "This next drill's gonna rattle a little bit", pulling out some undoubtably nefarious implement with crooked claws, which proceeded to rattle my head and cause little bits of my teeth to actually burn, proceeded by the acrid smell of burning enamel. Seriously though, it didn't hurt that much, except for the needle and kinda the big drill. I am feeling allright now, and the last bits of the novacaine are starting to wear off, I seriously sounded like I had brain problems eariler, most responses settling at "mmm" or "humm" or "huh". Speech was no cup of tea. I hear it'll be sore tomorrow, and my thanks goes out to, well, Peter I guess, who came up with the fewest horror stories of the apparent twisted nightmare that everyone I know made fillings out to be. People's reactions varied between "You will long for death's sweet embrace" and "nah, seriously, you'll be fine. just kidding, I was right the first time. What with the death and all."
So that wasn't that bad. Tune in tomorrow for me complaining about my jaws!
I also got into GAP, a camp which I looked forward to, but unfortunately was on the waiting list for, and now I'm in! so much jubilations, God knows just how much I can take, and refuses to let me be tested by more than I can handle right now. It's a comforting thought to know that you're never really out of your league. If I can just hang on a little longer, I think things'll simmer down somewhat. If not, then I shall be fine as well.
"We think: 'We're gonna get sober and we cut out these harmful habits and the things we were doing to destroy ourselves and everything's gonna be dandy after that, and life's just gonna be so much simpler, and it's all gonna be ok' but life still has a good way of knocking you down" -Renee