I would like to say some words on behalf of yesterday. I was going to write about yesterday yesterday, but I ran out of time.
Yesterday was man's turn to write on the sky. The sky was completely cloudless all day. But someone decided that wasn't quite good enough, and jets decided to scrawl white on the sky. Their paths crisscrossed, and ultimately faded after a time. But they still tried to write on the sky, tirelessly. Evening fell, and God decided to lend the jets a hand in their attempts to enrich. The jets no longer wrote, but painted. The whole world fell in half, opposite, but joined and blended, oil and water at peace with one another. The sun took the it's poppy, and the moon took it's lavender. The whole world was wrapped like a gift in these two colours, and for a time, our painting became holy on an evening sky, each stroke of our homage to clouds was filled with hues of orange and purple, opposites in breathtaking harmony. Impossible, but beautiful from the one who created it. It was one of those moments when you see why people call the sunset a miracle.
I have noticed I seem to be following religion. This is lame, and also sucks. I feel I have just been sitting down, and saying words. Not to anyone in particular, maybe out of habit more than actual conversation. I have been reading my bible daily, and I have learned, but I still feel disconnected. I have been following the rules, but have forgotten why. I think I just slipped into habit, into routine, and then just let myself fall asleep from there. Just saying the same words over and over again without realising it or really thinking about it. I am trying to seek God now. I sat down, and actually talked to God not as a father, as a teacher, or as a brother, but as a friend who knows what I'm going through. I feel I have started to need answers, to need "progress". I thought about this before, and the thought of having "Jesus" be the answer actually started to make a lot of sense. I don't really know how to explain it that well, I feel it seems to be beyond my scope of words, most of which I seem to just rely on the label things upon which labels do not fit. Just, having jesus as the answer. Like, almost as though the problem did not need a set resolution, it needed a why instead of a how. I don't know how to describe it. It is beyond words.
4 years ago